Perhaps is a favorite word. Its meaning, phonetics, and the wisdom behind those who prefer it for the same reasons that I do. For all one knows – it could be, it may be, it may surprise you.
Perhaps surprised me this week, proving itself timely, patient, wise, forever healing.
And perhaps had it, that a loved one out of desperation to win an argument during a dinner discussion by the beach, mentioned a name that does not belong near the ocean. The name of a sick mind that I am proud to have survived.
I knew it had to do with perhaps.
Grabbing the unnamed memory by its horns, I seized the moment and paved the way for my next morning, the day to have my conversation, the minute to find the truth behind a lifelong doubt.
My morning showed up. Salty breeze on my back, sun on my shoulders, sandy moss under my feet, ocean waves crashing in and out of me. I walked towards the question. Fear holding on to yesterday, my spirit honoring today.
The doubt dies today. I had to ask the question, I had to bear the answer.
I had to perhaps. And I did.
I asked and the doubt died washing me clean, safe, free.
The fear, the past, the scars, all healed by the sea.
An open sky now lives in me. And in us.
Perhaps threw me a winning dice.
The timing of closure.